Therapy Basics

If you feel as if you are in a crisis right now please call 911 or the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Or click the link below to find your closest emergency room. Remember you are not alone!!!

How Therapy Works?

Therapy does not 'cure' pedophilia or change the sexual orientation of a person with pedophilia, but it can reduce the sexual arousal to children so that the desire does not lead to the deed.

Gary Gibson - ASAP founder - from his book Virtuous Pedophiles

The fact of the matter is that pedophilia is a sexual orientation. And sexual orientations are immutable - they are fixed and cannot be changed. For many growing up only to realize that their minor attractions are there to stay while simultaneously trying to look ahead to a full and happy life, can be devastating. At very least, confusing. Not all non-offending pedophiles need therapy or any assistance at all to live a fulfilling life but those that do need to accept that while they may not have asked to be this way, they are. The option of therapy being available for those that want it or those that need it is what ASAP is all about.

From the website www.mentalhealth.org.uk - https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/t/talking-therapies

"Talking therapies give people the chance to explore their thoughts and feelings and the effect they have on their behaviour and mood. Describing what's going on in your head and how that makes you feel can help you notice any patterns which it may be helpful to change. "

If you are feeling like hurting yourself please call or visit your nearest emergency room now.

The non-offending pedophile faces problems and challenges of which most of the general public cannot even conceive. Depression and suicide is all to common among non-offending pedophiles. The situation is a crime that society commits upon itself because non-offending MAPs are some of the most moral persons you can find. Furthermore they are society's natural allies in the fight against CSA (childhood sexual abuse) so much so society is shooting itself in the foot every time it makes it harder for the non-offending MAP to find therapy that it should be argued that it is really society that should be seeking mental health help.

It is important that you know right from the start that, as far as therapy goes, it can be different if you are a pedophile and even a virtuous - non-offending - pedophile. Finding qualified therapy can be hard and it seems as if the world makes it purposely so. And yet again sometimes it simply is not an option for some non-offending pedophiles. Just like the rest of the world every pedophile seeks therapy for different reasons.

Therapy - Your Rights and Risks

Not all doctors and therapists are qualified to treat patients with sexual paraphilias such as pedophilia and other minor attractions, so it is vital that your read below before you begin your journey of discovery.

Everyone in our society is supposed to be protected from abuse and neglect from incompetent or even purposely malicious mental health care providers. Incredibly while there are some organizations out there working to standardize best practices for doctors and therapists that work with patients on sexual issues, ATSA - Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abuser as an example, and the National Institute for the study, prevention and treatment of childhood sexual trauma doctor Fred Berlin's private clinic with the exception of the latter, these organizations are not primarily concerned with the study and treatment of non-offending MAPs. ASAP is working to find a solution for standardized best practices for such persons and to seek to screen out all the unqualified therapists and doctors but for now we advise all our clients to both communicate with us directly - and anonymously if you like - and for them to follow these rules below.

All Pedophiles are Born Non-Offending

So for now we advise that our clients should follow simple rules and they should be fine:

  • Consider ASAP listed therapist first before making your decision to begin therapy
  • Even with ASAP registered therapists be sure to follow the TSTP's (see below Therapist Session Talking Points) until your trust relationship is established.
  • *Remember that ASAP does not control how its referral therapists work. All therapists use different approaches and techniques. There is not enough research with non-offending pedophiles to know which ones are most effective.
  • Confront your selected therapist with questions before you hire them.
  • Remember therapist work for you and not the other way around.

ASAP is a referral service. Though we are not counselors we also can advise about therapy in general.

Again, it is important to note that therapists use different approaches and techniques. There is not enough research with non-offending pedophiles to know which ones are most effective, so ASAP does not control how these therapists work.

Therapist Session Talking Points

Assuming you are a dedicated non-offender, that you have committed to abide by the Virtuous Pedophiles Guiding Principles or something contextually similar, that you are not in imminent danger of harming a child, when a non-offending MAP seeks talking therapy they should expect to feel safe discussing whatever they want to their therapist. Because of the many case studies ASAP has come across where the patient has been harmed by the actions of the unqualified therapist/doctor ASAP recommends considering using the TSTP rules while establishing a relationship with their therapists.

These Therapist Session Talking Points - or TSTPs are not meant to influence the free exchange of information between the patient and the therapist. However, we have seen case after case where non-offending MAPs have been inappropriately been subjected to persecution only because they made statements about desires or fantasies with no intention of fulfillment. The TSTPs are not meant to circumvent any laws. If you are an offending pedophile/MAP and are looking for help using these talking points are not for you.

  • Don't talk about any specific child. For instance your niece or the neighbor's son. It shouldn't matter the subject of desires and fantasies only the issue of how these affect you, the patient as a non-offending MAP.
  • Don't admit to the present use of child pornography
  • Use "what if..." or "let's say a friend of mine..."
  • Audio record your sessions if possible.

Mandatory Reporting Laws

As hard as it is to believe these days many jurisdictions make it hard for pedophiles - non-offending AND offending - to find therapy. It seems illogical. But Mandatory Reporting Laws in many places can make it difficult to receive the counseling you need. Even if you are non-offending and made an oath to abide by the Virtuous Pedophiles Guiding Principles and live a virtuous life. Just talking about fantasies and desires, though there is no intention behind them, many an untrained and unqualified therapist might believe they have the responsibility to report this to authorities. For the non-offending MAP that can be devastating.

From the website www.findlaw.com - https://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/mandatory-reporting-laws-child-abuse-and-neglect.html

"Mandatory reporting laws differ for each state when it comes to child abuse - which includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. However, it's important to remember that many of these laws also cover child neglect. In some states, these laws require that people in certain professions report child abuse and neglect to a proper authority, such as a law enforcement agency or child protective services. In other states, the mandatory reporting laws require any person who suspects child abuse or neglect report any such instance."

While Mandatory Reporting Laws (MRLs) can actually be shown to cause more CSA (child sexual abuse) than it prevents (see study) it is still a fact of life. ASAP, along with other individuals and organizations work to have MRLs reconsidered. But the vilification of pedophiles and pedophilia is so deeply entrenched that change is going to be a while coming.

The staff at ASAP are not trained counselors so we cannot play that role for our non-offending pedophile clients. On the other hand we do have the advantage that we are NOT "Mandatory Reporters". You can speak to us anonymously without the worry that we will track or report you for what you say.

Code of Ethics

ASAP refers people with pedophilia to a variety of mental health professionals, but does not license or control these therapists. The ACA Code of Ethics (ACA, 2005) is representative of the codes of ethics of the various mental health professions. Ethical therapists subscribe to aspirational ethics above and beyond any written code.

"Inherently held values that guide our behaviors or exceed prescribed behaviors are deeply ingrained in the counselor and developed out of personal dedication, rather than the mandatory requirement of an external organization" (ACA, 2005, p. 3). Ethical therapists will "recognize diversity and embrace a cross-cultural approach in support of the worth, dignity, potential, and uniqueness of people within their social and cultural contexts" (ACA, 2005, p. 3).

  1. Autonomy. "Clients have the freedom to choose whether to enter into or remain in a counseling relationship" (ACA, 2005, A.2.a.). Participation in therapy should always be voluntary. "Counselors and their clients work jointly in devising integrated counseling plans that offer reasonable promise of success and are consistent with abilities and circumstances of clients" (ACA, 2005, A.1.c.). Self-determination is an important principle in any therapeutic relationship.
  2. Beneficence. "The primary responsibility of counselors is to respect the dignity and to promote the welfare of clients" (ACA, 2005, A.1.a.). Helping people with pedophilia live a productive, fulfilling, law-abiding life will also prove beneficial to society and help prevent child sexual abuse.
  3. Fidelity. "Counselors are aware of their own values, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors and avoid imposing values" (ACA, 2005, A.4.b.). Ethical therapists must be congruent with their own values, but must never impose their values on clients.
  4. Justice. "Counselors do not condone or engage in discrimination based on age, culture, disability, ethnicity, race, religion/spirituality, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, marital status/partnership, language preference, socioeconomic status, or any basis proscribed by law" (ACA, 2005, C.5.). Ethical therapists will make their services available to all, but will refer to another therapist if they are unable to meet the needs of a client.
  5. Non-maleficence. "Counselors are to avoid harming their clients ... and to minimize or to remedy unavoidable or unanticipated harm" (ACA, 2005, A.4.a.). Ethical therapists will do their best to help clients keep out of trouble and avoid doing anything that brings harm to themselves or to others. Clients should never be forced to participate in any particular therapeutic technique.

These five basic principles are exemplified in the resolution of ethical dilemmas. "When counselors are faced with ethical dilemmas that are difficult to resolve, they are expected to engage in a carefully considered ethical decision-making process. Reasonable differences of opinion can and do exist among counselors with respect to the ways in which values, ethical principles, and ethical standards would be applied when they conflict" (ACA, 2005, p. 3). Ethical therapists will develop an integrated decision making model that is demonstrated in the following areas:

  • Confidentiality. "Counselors recognize that trust is a cornerstone of the counseling relationship" (ACA, 2005, p. 7). Ethical therapists will give confidentiality the highest priority in developing a therapeutic relationship. "At initiation and throughout the counseling process, counselors inform clients of the limitations of confidentiality and seek to identify foreseeable situations in which confidentiality must be breached" (ACA, 2005, B.1.d.). When individuals receive therapy that will make them better citizens, society benefits more than if they refused counseling because confidentiality could not be guaranteed (Remley and Herlihy, 2010). "Counselors do not share confidential information without client consent or without sound legal or ethical justification" (ACA, 2005, B.1.c.). People with pedophilia may sometimes receive help anonymously.
  • Diagnosis. "Counselors may refrain from making and/or reporting a diagnosis if they believe it would cause harm to the client or others" (ACA, 2005, E.5.d.). The stigma attached to a diagnosis of pedophilic disorder can cause distress that might have a negative impact on the therapeutic relationship. "Counselors take steps to ensure that clients understand the implications of diagnosis, the intended use of tests and reports, fees, and billing arrangements" (ACA, 2005, A.2.b.).
  • Multiple roles. Any sexual relationship with a client is unethical and illegal. Generally, other "nonprofessional relationships with clients ... should be avoided" (ACA, 2005, A.5.c.). Ethical therapists seek to avoid multiple roles with the same client. "Counselors do not evaluate individuals for forensic purposes they currently counsel or individuals they have counseled in the past" (ACA, 2005, E.13.c.). Ethical therapists are not an extension of the criminal justice system.


American Counseling Association (ACA, 2005). ACA code of ethics. Alexandria, VA: Author.

Remley, T. & Herlihy, B. (2010). Ethical, legal, and professional issues in counseling (3rd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Misguided Therapy

ASAP strongly recommends that all MAPs avoid any of these therapy traps. Pedophilia and even the concept of non-offending pedophiles are still such alien ideas to so many people that is has and continues to produce a lot of "misguided" treatments that are often based on steriotypes and ignorance. Here are a few examples:

  • Pray the pedophilia away. Spirituality can certainly be helpful in maintaining control of one's actions, but there is no evidence that prayer has ever changed a person's sexual orientation.
  • Conversion therapy. Although aversion therapy is still used by some mental health professionals to modify arousal patterns, ASAP does not support any attempt to change a person's sexual orientation.
  • Ticking time bombs. Any approach that views pedophiles as monsters waiting to abuse a child will not be as effective in helping the person to not abuse a child.


American Counseling Association (ACA, 2005). ACA code of ethics. Alexandria, VA: Author.

Remley, T. & Herlihy, B. (2010). Ethical, legal, and professional issues in counseling (3rd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Important Note:

ASAP does not control how these therapists work.

All therapists use different approaches and techniques. There is not enough research with non-offending pedophiles to know which ones are most effective.